Mornings Without the Mayhem: A Real Guide for Real Parents

Picture this: It's 7:23 AM. You've asked your preschooler to put on their shoes approximately 47 times. They're currently lying on the floor, insisting they can't possibly put on shoes because they're now a sleeping butterfly. Your coffee is cold, you've got a meeting at 9, and somehow, your child's left sock has vanished into thin air.

Welcome to mornings with young children. If you're reading this while hiding in the bathroom for a moment of peace, I see you.

Here's the thing about mornings: They're hard because they ask a lot of our children's executive functioning skills - skills that are about as developed as my ability to do Olympic gymnastics (which is to say, not at all). We're asking them to:

• Transition from sleep to wake

• Follow multiple-step directions

• Manage time (a concept they barely grasp)

• Deal with separation

• And do it all before their emotional gas tank is fully filled

No wonder it feels impossible some days.

But here's what might change everything: What if we stopped trying to "manage" our children through the morning and started working with how their brains actually function?

Let's break this down:

The Reality Check:

• Your child isn't being difficult on purpose

• Their brain literally cannot rush

• Connection must come before direction

• Routines take weeks (sometimes months) to stick

The Game-Changing Approach:

1. Start the Night Before Not in a "Pinterest-perfect layout of clothes" way (unless that's your jam). But maybe:

   • Let them sleep in their (weather-appropriate) play clothes

   • Keep shoes by the door (yes, both of them)

   • Pack bags before bed Remember: Future You will thank Past You for these small wins.

2. Build in Time for Connection

   • Wake up 10 minutes earlier (I know, I know, but bear with me)

   • Start with a 2-minute snuggle

   • Use this time to fill their emotional cup before asking anything of them

3. Make it Visual Create a simple morning chart with pictures:

   • Potty

   • Get dressed

   • Eat breakfast

   • Brush teeth Let them move a clip or marker down the list. This gives them control and predictability.

4. Turn Transitions into Games Instead of "Put on your shoes!" try:

   • "Can your shoes be on before I count to 20?"

   • "Let's put our shoes on in slow motion!"

   • "I wonder if shoes go on hands or feet?" (Warning: This may result in shoes on hands, but at least they're engaging!)

5. Expect the Unexpected Build in a 10-minute buffer for:

   • The inevitable sock crisis

   • The sudden need to tell you a very long story about their stuffed giraffe

   • The discovery that they can only eat breakfast while standing on one foot

Remember: Your child isn't giving you a hard time about getting ready. Their brain is having a hard time processing all these transitions. When we work with their development instead of against it, mornings become (somewhat) smoother.

And for those days when nothing works? When you're late and frustrated and everyone's crying? Give yourself grace. Tomorrow is another day. Your child won't remember that you were 10 minutes late. They'll remember that even in the chaos, you were their safe place.

Pro tip: Keep an emergency breakfast (granola bar, banana) in your bag. Not for them - for you. Because sometimes survival is the goal, and that's okay too.